Good Idea: it's time to go interracial

by Brandon Tucker

The only way the world will be able to rid itself of religious wars and racism is if the entire human race inter-breeds enough to achieve a single face - and consequently one jumbled mess of faith so complicated no one can really be sure what they believe in.

This uni-race will eventually happen naturally, but at the current rate in about 10,000 years. We need to speed up the process because weapons and radicals are making it seem like we don't have 100 years before we blow each other up, nonetheless 10,000.

***I think we've got about 82 years, give or take.

Countries should begin encouraging interracial offspring. If governments can "ethnic cleanse" (negative), it should be just as easy to "ethnic blend" (positive). Each nation should impose benefits (tax breaks, more property, 'free beer night' etc.) to those who produce offspring with a mate of a different race.

Mainstream media should follow suit. Movies can be released where the super hero always chooses saving the latino woman over the white ones. In horror movies, the black guy doesn't always die, but nails the WASPy Sarah Michelle Geller-type without fail.

The more different of you and your partner's skin tone the better too. This means a white man would receive more of a tax break for mating with a black woman over an Asian woman, because any white woman who is looking into the sun looks Asian anyways.

Those who marry someone of the same skin should be taxed like a millionaire, because they are slowing down the evolutionary process. Their only way to avoid such rampant tax is if they agree to produce off-spring with a man or mistress of different skin.

*** In my proposed government, this adultery cannot be legal grounds for divorce.

I am calling on Swedish guys to organize an Afro-Swede mixer. Middle eastern women: holler at some Canadians.

Curvy South American chicks, you can find me on MySpace.